I've never written such an honest post

In the middle of the night, I get up to see. I open my blinds and look past my panes. - My panes of transparent sorrow. When into the dark night, I gaze upon the Earth's dark shadows and wish to be safe, engulfed in its breezy trees. At day, I stare at the tallest greenery. Alone in my quiet obedience, I appear calm and reflective. People say I am kind. They tolerate my childish behavior and naive commentary. I wish to play on a weekday's summer day and never feel guilty or alone. - I've told myself to wait. I told myself that patience is my law and my only best friend.