Let.

If I want to go, let me go. If I want to cry, let me cry. If I want to laugh, let me laugh. If I want to yell, let me yell. If I want to go, let me go. If I want to stay, let me stay. Let me do what I want to do. If you let, you love.

You are SO beautiful.

I'm addicted to a natural, makeup-free face.  - Alright, so this is debatable, but in my opinion, girls look so much more approachable, kind, and down to earth when their faces aren't hidden behind globs of eyeliner and foundation.  Sure, lips should be nice and moisturized with a bit of color, and maybe some light mascara for the eyes. But seriously, everyone is so beautiful.  I always love waking up in the mornings, looking in the mirror at a fresh, clean face, and knowing God gave me these eyes, these chubby cheeks, these eyebrows, this smile... And I can't help but rejoice because at least to Him, I'm beautiful, and I think once we realize that, we are beautiful to everyone around us.

Spanish Fork Springs

This Memorial Day, my family and close family friends decided to go hiking to the springs in Spanish Fork, Utah.  I took a few pictures with my iPhone... Enjoy!!!

My dear cute Mama-->

 They're so in love. - Sitting in the springs and all.

 Mr. Snakey.

<-- Cool cats.

This ^

Look.

Tonight my heart hurts. - I guess I'm just tired. - Whoever mends it will have to work harder than hell.

Rage.

This is my skulk. - A pack of sad-eyed foxes that never complain. - but when we do, it's fierce.

I just want a secret love.

And I'm sick of telling myself I'm not alone.

Bill Music Vid

Since fracturingmyelbow, I've had a lot of time, so I put this music video together with my recording of "Bill" in the background.  All clips were filmed with my iPhone, thus the crappy vibe.  Enjoy if you can.

Tell.

They asked if I hurt, and I said no, so they put me to work. - But I hurt. I still hurt.

Adrenaline and her cripple.

I dreamt that I saw you - you and your beautiful heart. But I was jumping over power lines, and you were steering a colorless car. - I woke up the uncounted time and stared at my frozen arm - I heard the morning birds and wished you hadnt looked back. - Its only 4 am and Dear, I want you back, and adrenaline cried on its cold hard back.

Remember my flower post?

24 For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away: 25 But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you. -1 Peter 1:24-25

How do you explain the way you are to someone who doesn't understand?

I've never written such an honest post

In the middle of the night, I get up to see. I open my blinds and look past my panes. - My panes of transparent sorrow. When into the dark night, I gaze upon the Earth's dark shadows and wish to be safe, engulfed in its breezy trees. At day, I stare at the tallest greenery. Alone in my quiet obedience, I appear calm and reflective. People say I am kind. They tolerate my childish behavior and naive commentary. I wish to play on a weekday's summer day and never feel guilty or alone. - I've told myself to wait. I told myself that patience is my law and my only best friend.

Here's a light beverage.

In highschool, I didn't have a lot of confidence, and it didn't help being younger than everyone else in my grade...  I tried too hard to fit in with the wrong people.

I thought I could fake my way into being happy.  I hate to admit it, but I ditched my real friends for a bunch of kids who didn't care much for me. - That's why I felt so alone and conflicted all the time.  I was constantly trying to get these cool kids to accept me, and it showed.

When I started college, I was shy and scared.  I felt like I'd still never find anyone who'd accept my genuine difference in culture and personality.

I remember sitting alone in the same spot every day and wishing I'd just disappear, but eventually, people started including me in their conversations.  I wasn't afraid to be myself anymore, and things just started to fall in place.  Now I have so many good people in my life, and I couldn't ask for anything better!

Which goes to say, life is a battle! - ESPECIALLY when you're in your teens.  I'm not proud of who I was trying to be, but I would never want to go back and do anything different.  If I had, I would have never experienced and learned how to find myself and become a better person.

There are so many good people out there!  We'll never be perfect, and we might not be happy all the time, but if we learn to accept and love ourselves as we are, we will be more content and loving to ourselves and everyone around us.

:)

I practiced 6 and 1/2 hours today. It felt so good.

Today I skipped tennis class to practice my technique chart, memorize my Prokofiev sonata in D minor, 1st movement, and do some recording analysis...

So ready for my lesson.

Don't assume.

People can get the wrong idea. Also... Don't be an idiot. I know too many.

Cramming

For my music literature class, we explored the history and evolution of chant, eventually influencing the music of troubadors and trouveres and finally cantigas and estampies.

So far, my favorite pieces have been "La Quarte Estampie" by Anonymous, and Firenze's "Tosto Che L'alba".

I know this post is boring.  I just had to take a break from studying for the test of said literature class.

... I have to take the test at 6 tonight!

...
...
...  Cramming!!

I am so happy!!

Every time I see pictures of my sister serving in Taiwan, I get so excited and start screaming "I AM SO HAPPY" in Chinese and laughing at the top of my lungs. My mom always looks at me and says, "You have a problem..." in Chinese. I love it. I don't know what it is, but I can't stop thinking about serving a mission. I feel like the Lord is preparing me every day to keep growin and learning until I'm old enough to serve my own mission. I can't wait. I feel like a giddy school boy.

We are who we are.

Le Pas Espagnole - Verina/Margaret piano duet

For our Keyboard in Ensemble class, Dr. Fox paired me and Margaret together.  This is just one of our ensemble pieces "Le Pas Espagnole" by Faure.  It's not perfect, but we thought it'd be fun to record a video during our rehearsal today. 


(Margaret is playing 2nd piano, and I'm playing 1st piano - the hands closest to the camera.)

 Me and Margaret - Don't we look like twins? ^.^

PS Sorry for the bad quality/editing.  All of this was taken with my iphone and quickly edited on imovie.

Quarantine and her eminence

Her pink frock, laced with white 
Beneath those mousy tresses, 
Her eyes subsumed
That immaculate sentiment- 
The very antagonist of vice 


Her hands that grew an octave expanse
Suffocated her self recognition 
Absent memory.
Upon the pixels of colored state 
"Find in me your ancient existence." 


This doll of diminutive Dutch 
Bartered the expense of Fond Camraderie 
For solitary prestige and eminence. 
But past her smitten mask of comfort 
Lies her fear of suffocating Quarantine

Silken string

Midnight blue blown by the wind against her bones
Her figure, a tasted petite tone
Colored golden and brown from light's dark rays
Those black chords of silken string


Almond eyes of monotonous rue
Shift over the shimmering decor
Green leaves that only speak of thrills
Certain clouds, shortly to fade


Her wait agonizing patience
Pounds the door of selfish grace
Heavily breathes psychotic despair
 Only to find her mistaken pride.