May 19, 2016

This

Why is it the first line of every entry the hardest to type?

I think I've written and erased multiple lines before finally settling for the one you see just above this one.

So here's the deal:

I want to be a very real person, and this blog sometimes doesn't accurately represent who I am on the regular.  - My blog has, more often than not, served as a sort of refuge: It's the place where I go when I'm in emotional distress or in a very mellow, contemplative, poetry-writing mood. - I write when I'm sad, angry, disappointed, heartbroken, etc.  Because of this, however, I may come off as being a very emotional, depressed, and disturbed person! 

---

Because I'm NOT always that emotional, I sometimes come back to read previous blog posts only to cringe or to feel extremely embarrassed at my posts.  These feelings regularly lead me to un-publish and draft the majority of my blog posts: The ones that are so personal and nostalgic for me.

Recently, I've met some people who have inspired me to be okay sharing these vulnerable moments with the general public.  - As scary as that IS, I have made a decision to re-publish and un-draft all posts that have ever been composed in those moments because I AM fragile, and my blog is ironically about demonstrating that fragility: Something that has been such a struggle for me.

So, here they are: The posts written in my most vulnerable moments filled with the most pungent of emotions.

I'll leave it up to you to make of it what you will - But let this serve as a reminder that we are all human in our fragility, and this is mine: 

No comments:

Post a Comment