October 12, 2015

October 7, 2015

Sleepless

Ships
Shudders
Shoes
Shutters
Twists
Tickets
Tune
Stutters
Suppressors
Suppressants
Starts
Sputters
Search
Disappointments
Stars
Flustered
Solitude
Fixes
Spirit
Flutters
Thoughts
Flight
Form
Cutter
Bite
Burn
Bid
Stunner
Sit
Starve
Stern
Hunger
Cold
Heart
Broken
Lover


Roam

Let me conquer my fears.
Let me reach my goals. 

Let me prove myself. 

Let me fight for my freedom so I won't be alone. 

So I won't be afraid. 

So they have no reason not to trust me. 

So I can trust me. 

It's quiet and lone,
This road of blood and bone. 

The East

Eat to live.
Live to work.
Work to play. 
Play to laugh.
Laugh to live.

Live to love.

I'm at the "live to work" part right now.

That's right. Nitty gritty. NITTY GRITTY AND "NO EXCUSES OR DISTRACTIONS". 

October 6, 2015

J






CREATIVE SPACE

A porcelain puppet that does what he's told
A kid too afraid to raise his hand
A child waiting to be saved

A girl stuck in a rut
A slave to resumes and green film
A coward with a lion's mane


Take control - the loudest roar in his heart

Take control - the screams shrill through her veins

Money can't buy a heart.
Money can't buy a lot.

Will he make it?
Will she live?

Oh, how he'll live.
Just watch how she leaves.

Just watch me.

"Labels, they limit.
This is your life, LIVE IT."

October 5, 2015

10.05.15

I went to the temple to perform initiatories this morning and ran into my Mom working in the dressing room.  She looked beautiful in white.  My brother Jon Jon who is in the MTC and leaving for Hong Kong in a few weeks was also blessed to run into my Dad who is also a temple worker.  My Dad got to perform initiatories for my brother, and he came home beaming because of it.

In Elder Chen's weekly shout-out to me was so sweet.  He always knows just the right thing to say just when I need it: 

"Thanks so much for everything :) I seriously love you so much! I hope everything is going good for you! Just Always pray, I think we always worry about 'How can I tell if its the spirt and not just me' But Elder Bednar said 'Stop worrying about it, just be a good boy or a good girl and god will take you wherever you need to be' I love you so much!"

I know the Lord is working miracles in my family and truly blessing the lives of those I love so dear.  Elder Chen really nailed it when he told me to "pray".  - With life being filled with heartache, growth, laughter, and achievement, we really do NEED to pray.  

General Conference always acts as a marker on the timeline of my life.  It's become a time of reflection for me.

Before heading out to school this morning, I expressed to my Mom how frustrated and impatient I am with myself so much of the time.  She told me that's just me being aware and wanting to change - It's me having the desire to improve and grow.

I think she's right.  I also think it's important to be patient with myself.  How else can I be patient with others?

I guess that's why I love this gospel so much.  JOY fills my heart knowing that it is never too late for that, for change.  How can I not share that with the world?!

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about agency and the power I have to shape my own future.  I want so much to do God's will and become someone who is worthy of accomplishing His work/His will.  I want to enrich my life with goodness, with love, and with joy.

I remember feeling a similar Spirit on my mission - feeling the desire to consecrate my life to God - feeling the need to cleanse and purify my life - feeling the urge to give my all to God and just serve, serve, serve.



So, here's to today being better than yesterday
and to tomorrow being better than today.


October 4, 2015

Remembrance, My World And 700

She woke,
sat up in bed,
Just like she always does,

It's been so dark these past few times. 

Awakening to the dark.

So she looked for light. 
took the flight,
And found a light. 

And for the first time, she cried, her heart weeped. 


A distant whisper: An "I love you" and "good night". 


Dearest Dreamer:


I've learned to hold my tongue.
I know I'm quiet, but I care.



I care about the things you do.




I care about the people you meet and the places you see.


I care about your happiness, your faith, your worth, your dreams, your pain, your fears, your friends, your family, your heart.

I care about your eyes that speak volumes to mine.

It's not over.

At least it always feels that way.

Know this:

No matter what,
I care about you.
Always have, always will.
Let Go(d).