December 28, 2012


We made paper mache masks. Rawr.

Thank you to beautiful Kathy and Rob for crafting with me and letting me shoot some photos with/of them today:

December 21, 2012

12/21/12 - Jeffrey and Kara

Today, the world hosted the wedding of my brother Jeffrey to Kara (Now Kara CHEN).

Today, I was so blessed to attend the sealing and marriage of these two beautiful people and gain ANOTHER, new, beautiful sister.

Here are some of the photos I snapped during the events of today:

December 18, 2012

Cut Cold

As I was feverishly climbing the mountain for time, I cut my ankle on an unforgiving fragment of cold ice, but in the moment, I hadn't noticed for the cold...

December 15, 2012

Your joy is my joy.

Today, I realized how happy I am for my oldest brother Jeffrey.

Jeffrey is getting married 12/21/12 in the Salt Lake City temple to his wonderful fiancé, Kara.

I don't know what love is, but knowing that someone so close to me has found that love makes me so so happy.

So tonight, I cried because my brother's happiness is my happiness, and I just want their love to last forever.

In that, there is so much beauty.


I'm surrounded by beautiful people.

Wherever I go, whatever I do, I see SO MUCH beauty in everything.

Too often do people feel discouraged, lost, forgotten.
With all that is going on in the world today, I know that we can find peace in the little things, no matter what they are.

Today I didn't wear any makeup, and I didn't curl my hair.

Today, I embraced my own beauty.

Today, I smiled when I was happy, and frowned when I was sad.

Today, I played my dad's old guitar, and I put my poetry to song.

Today, I cried when my best friends left for Japan.

Today, I cried out of exhaustion, sadness, and anger.

Today, I am grateful for beauty.

One day, I want someone tell me with the most genuine intentions that they think I'm beautiful even if I'm small, even if I'm aching, even if I cry so easily.

I want to love others the same way.  I want to hold a child and tell them I love them for their beauty, even though they're vulnerable, even though they're tired, even though they're hurt.

Today, I decided that everyone should feel beautiful, so I told someone they were beautiful.

November 15, 2012


What's "Zoetry"?

It's poetry by one of the kindest, cutest, most admirable girls that I have been so blessed to call my friend: Zoe - "Lil' Veg Veg"(courtesy of Jesse) - Bass Zoe - Funny Zoe - Kind Zoe - GirlThatEveryGuyLikes Zoe - TheListGoesOn Zoe...

This Zoe:

quiet teiuq

Just wrench my heart out, Rachael.

She's the softest, saddest soul.

What a rockstar.

"It'll be just as quiet when I leave."

November 14, 2012


My dear blog "Utopia and the Grave",

I love and hate you ... so MUCH.
As much as the size of an elephant (or something like that).
Just leave me alone or something.

Oh, and I got a twitter. FOLLOW ME NOW!!

November 12, 2012

Intents and "Epilogue"

Today in my Jazz Styles and Analysis class, we discussed how so many of us musicians worry about what the audience, our peers, and our teachers think of our playing, our interpretations, our technique, or our improvisations.

Then I realized how selfish humans are.  We care so much about who sees us and our achievements.  We're afraid of being forgotten, unnoticed, criticized for our mistakes.
Perhaps there is a reason for our selfish natures.  Think about it.   Our internal reasons, as conceited as they are, for performing, for working, for building, are what promote development and movement in the arts, sciences, even the day-to-day living circumstances.

I let that sound-eating monster eat me

and screamed out these melodies:

"Just for once, rid me of selfish cares

And let me be a true artist
Let nobody see."

But in that monster's pit, no one heeding,

 and it'd just be me 

Engulfed to the final truth

with no one to hear

Nightmares are dreams too.

October 25, 2012

Everything that cries

Ever since I was a little girl, I've looked at the rain and thought they were tears.
I liked to think that maybe the Earth was crying along with me... with the pained... with the happy.
It's funny how I like to personify objects and surroundings, like the mountains and the clouds, and most recently, the trees.

At night when I'm alone, I start wondering if there will be a time when someone will appreciate and understand the same  things I do.

Are we all just falling leaves?

October 10, 2012

The Little Prince

My favorite book is "The Little Prince".

I read it whenever I'm down.

Here. My very own thoughts.  Take a read:

September 9, 2012

I AM weird.

I want SO MUCH to be kind.
I never want anyone to feel uncomfortable asking me for help or for advice or for just being a good friend.

Tomorrow, I want to wear socks and sandals to school, and I want to stop caring so much about what people will think.

Everyone already knows this, but I like being weird and funny and strange.
So many people are so afraid of being judged that they never do the things they want anymore!

I don't want to be afraid of expressing myself.
I AM weird, and you may judge me, but ultimately, I am who I am, and I don't need to be afraid about what others think.

Say it with me now.

I DON'T NEED TO BE AFRAID!!!!!!!!! Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh woooooooooohhhhoooooo!!!!

September 5, 2012

Huckleberry wild

She ripped her dress sprinting across those fields,
but when she ran, she knew she'd have to comb her hair and mend that prison.
She had to go back.

August 27, 2012


Henry David Thoreau
“I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.”
― Henry David ThoreauWalden, or Life in the Woods

Sometimes, I cry. 

I cry because I feel like somehow, someway, I have wronged the world. 

 I feel like I'm being punished. 

So I try to love. I try to serve. I try my best to make others feel important.

Sometimes I wish I could dream forever, because when I dream, I sometimes wake up laughing.

August 24, 2012

When I can't sing

I play 6 hours of classical music everyday.

Naturally, I don't always enjoy listening to it.

But tonight, and some nights, and many more nights to come, I felt like listening to classical music.

Sometimes, all you want to hear and scream is classical music because lyrics aren't what you need.

August 22, 2012

Underwater film


Thank you Ashley and Amy for inviting me to come swimming, and to Andy for great underwater photo skills.

August 19, 2012


Today I wrote a lot of letters to missionaries and friends out of the country.

 I guess I can get pretty crafty when it comes to paper and stationery, so I made envelopes and drew funny pictures on each of them.


I can't wait to send them tomorrow.  There's always a bit of satisfaction when you send out a letter and get one back.


August 9, 2012

July 23, 2012

Liszt Liebestraum

There's nothing else to do but to go listen to it.

July 17, 2012

Provo Bay

Bike down Provo Canyon

This post is long overdue, so I'm putting it up now... Jon Jon's birthday was July 6, so my family went biking up Provo Canyon. Of course, little Jon Jon long boarded:


Today I played around with the exposure, highlights, and shadows of blurry images of me  - Here's what came of it: